“But I’ll take the hand of those who don’t know the way, who can’t see
where they’re going. I’ll be a personal guide to them, directing them
through unknown country. I’ll be right there to show them what roads to
take, make sure they don’t fall into the ditch. These are the things I’ll
be doing for them – sticking with them, not leaving them for a minute.”
How beautiful are those words for me to begin my long journey in the valley with the Lord. This weekend I began the first steps in the battle with lung cancer as they sent a technician to my home this weekend to take vials of blood to send to a laboratory in Colorado that only studies cancer of the
lungs. Monday follows with a PET scan so that they can determine exactly where the cancer is located and what type it is so we can treat it the best way.
I am reminded of the words of Isaiah; I don’t know the way, I cannot see where I am going, I am timid and meek and hanging on to my Saviour for dear life. I am concerned for the PET scan on Monday as it has been physically
impossible for me to lay flat on my back because of my MS and now because of my breathing and to think that I must do it for an hour is major. I know that I cannot do it but I know that He can and asking everyone I meet to pray that He will do it for me!
As a young child I have always been ill at ease to sleep in the dark, being profoundly deaf has a profound effect with this uneasiness that to this day I still use a night light to break the total darkness.
With the journey that I have begun it feels like the dark night and I need the Great Light to illuminate my way. I am such a control person and many times lately I feel myself spinning out of control as I don’t know where I am going, I do not know the way. I have no one on earth or in heaven, I only have the Great I Am, the Alpha and Omega to hang onto for dear life.
Oh, how I need Him to calm my spirit and to give me peace in this hour of uncertainties.
Monday is a very troubling day as the thought penetrates my mind of the PET scan, will I be able to do it or not. How many more days face me with uncertainties in the days ahead? He has given this at this hour, not to harm me, but for my good. Will this be the final crucified death of living a life as a control freak and realizing full surrender so that thoughts can penetrate my being to take His perfect peace? What a journey I am on!
Thirty five years ago I fully surrendered my life that I would follow Him and bear witness of Him to every nation and every generation and have found
much comfort in His Words when He spoke privately to me in Isaiah 42:2…
“Take a good look at my servant.
I’m backing him to the hilt.
He’s the one I chose,
and I couldn’t be more pleased with him.
I’ve bathed him with my Spirit, my life.
He’ll set everything right among the nations.
He won’t call attention to what he does
with loud speeches or gaudy parades.
He won’t brush aside the bruised and the hurt
and he won’t disregard the small and insignificant,
but he’ll steadily and firmly set things right.
He won’t tire out and quit. He won’t be stopped
until he’s finished his work—to set things right on earth.
Far-flung ocean islands
wait expectantly for his teaching.”
I find much strength in these words for I know what I have been called to do and I won’t tire out and quit. I won’t be stopped whether it’s laying down or standing up with an oxygen tank until I finish my work to set things right upon the earth and see the fulfillment of God’s promise to me when I fully surrendered at the foot of the Cross when He promised that my
people would return from exile far away and would rest beneath His Shadow and become a watered garden.
He is taking me on a new journey to bear witness of Him to new people. As God leads you, please pray for the daily strength to fight this battle and that all may see Jesus in me and know that Jesus is Victor, not I!!
Marching onward and upward for the glory of God,
Sue with her trusted nurse, Deborah