I can clearly remember a time when I was down and depressed for days, and Sue decided it had been long enough.

“This isn’t who you are,” she chided me. “You can’t stay in this slump. You’re a child of the King! You need to sing!”

Right, that’s easier said than done! At first I felt resentful. Angry. Frustrated that I had absolutely no one who understood. It was unwanted advice. But deep inside I grudgingly knew she was right. I had watched her overcome darkness many times with songs of praise.

She would often comment that when she couldn’t pray she could at least sing. And then I would hear it, feeble and faint at first, but increasing in strength and power until it became full-throated singing. Being deaf and off key never stopped Sue from belting out those hymns with every fiber of her being!

So when I was out of the room, out of her sight I tried it. I knew she couldn’t hear me. So I hummed. You guessed it. It’s truly hard to add a song on top of your already heavy heart.

What to do to get through when all feels bleak and dark in the soul?

I Will Sing.

Did you know that the night that Jesus sat down to eat his last meal with his closest earthly friends, they sang a hymn together? His friends thought it was just another evening spent together. But Jesus knew what was coming next. No one else understood like He did that within a few hours it was to become the darkest night in human history with some of the deepest definitions of betrayal, abandonment and death.

And yet with all that, Jesus sang.

Singing does not organically bubble up out of bleakness. It’s a choice. An act of the will. It’s taking a conscious step forward. If it feels like hypocrisy to sing your favorite praise songs, you could at least sing, “I have decided to follow Jesus.” Follow His example of singing.

Jesus sang. And He sings with His friends even today.

The first sounds out of your mouth may resemble a wordless whimper, but opening the mouth is opening the heart to let the light of Glory shine in.
And light
always
overcomes
darkness.

And not only that, but listen to these words,

“So I will sing like I will THERE
…in the fearless Light of Glory.”

Do you hear that resolve? That sudden clenching of the fists, that deep shuddering breath that shouts out, “no matter how I feel, I will sing.”

It’s choosing to sing in the darkness as if you’re already singing in the light of Heaven.

You see, of all the people in this World, the followers of Jesus should always have a fight song on our lips!

Mine? The one I turned to over and over again is by City Alight

“Oh, the night has been won,
and I shall overcome
Yet not I, but through Christ in me!”

And I love this one,

“Though the night is dark
Heaven owns my heart
And I got all I need to sing,
I know You love me
I know You found me
I know You saved me
And Your grace will never fail me.

And while I’m waiting
I’m not waiting
I know Heaven lives in me.

So I will sing like I will There in the fearless light of Glory
Where the darkness cannot find me and Your Face is all I see…”

~ Joel Houston / Hillsong

In your darkest hours,
what is your fight song?

It had been a rough night.

I can still feel the exhaustion and helplessness and grief that was suffocating me as I kept sleepless vigil at Sue’s bedside. Three years ago yesterday I was waiting for the night shift to clock out at the hospital. There’s no point in calling the ambulance and showing up in E.R. right before shift change, then having to start all over again with getting to know the day staff. So we lingered at home, waiting for dawn to color the winter sky pink.

Waiting. Watching. Praying.

Sue looked over at me and spoke. “Home. Home.” Her voice was frail but insistent.

Moving my lips so she could read them, I voicelessly whispered that we were already at home. She nodded, gave me a tiny smile, looked up at the ceiling and repeated that simple syllable, “Home.” Then she closed her eyes with a sigh.

At the time, I thought the rented hospital bed had her confused. But now I realize the word “Home” was fraught with every emotion of Eternal Belonging. Sue knew her life and soul had been redeemed by Jesus and she knew where she was headed. She knew it was soon and her focus was on the Finish Line. I would not have been surprised if she was already gazing at those Gates of Glory that night. Her heart was already Home.

But what of those who are left behind in the dust of Earth Stuff? Yes, in those early months after she was gone, that was a common refrain for me. Over and over in my head I could hear it. She had gone on and I was “Left Behind,” trying to figure out how to keep on going forward without her.

Randy Alcorn (who wrote that very worthwhile book on Heaven) says what caught him off guard the most after his wife, Nancy, died was The Silence. That word silence always gets my attention especially in relation to Sue. She often spoke of “her world of silence.”

In the void, the emptiness, the hole, the silence reverberates so loudly that it echoes from every corner of our aching heart. We had let our Loved One into our personal world and they filled that space with Presence and Sound. Then we blink our eyes and they are gone.

Now how do we adjust to the emptiness? The stunning silence that is so hard to connect with?

I keep thinking of something that Sue often said,

“The silence will teach us if we listen”

I have no answers. I do know that often I must be quiet and let the Lord do most of the talking. And He does that. He speaks to me through His written Word directly to my heart.

I also think we often thoughtlessly act and talk and live as if this is the only life we have. In our heads we know there is more, but we’re not living as if it’s real to us.

There is so much more! Another space for us to fill. Another age. Much much more for us to anticipate! For endless ages and ages to come!

And, get this. Heaven, our true home is not only waiting at the end of this life, but it is already Present. It surrounds us even though it is invisible to these earthly eyes. Yet in the goodness of God, there is an occasional sacred moment when that curtain is blown aside, or perhaps it’s His own hand pulling it back to give us a brief glimpse of what He has been preparing for us, our real Home.

Over a century ago. James Rowe jotted down these words,

“Oft, in the storm, lonely are we

Sighing for Home, longing for Thee.

Yes, a sweet rest is remaining

For the true children of God,

Where there will be no complaining,

Never a chastening rod.

Soon, the bright Homeland adorning

We shall behold the glad dawn;

Lean on the Lord till the morning

Trust till the night is gone.”

I say Amen to that!

Lean on the Lord till the Morning, and trust Him till the darkness of your difficult night is gone, Morning always comes, and in the light you will see Home even more clearly!

Black Friday.

It sounds so ominous to my ears these days.

Like Black Plague.

It’s actually been dubbed
The Most Dangerous Day of the Year.

That Day of Thanksgiving is over,
and now is The Day of Christmas Shopping,

filled with frantic chaos and frenzied competition on streets and stores,

But it is even more dangerous to play the game from home!

Fraudulent deals, phishing attacks and fake websites,

Cyber criminals have been plotting for months,
They are now lying in wait,
As you scroll, you find their bait,
And wanting to score that deal,
…you “click”

Cybersecurity professionals call this day after Thanksgiving,

Black “Fraud” Day.

So, today, as you shop, be safe out there,
And in there too!

Today as you’re making a Split Second Buyer’s Decision,

Ask for the mind of Christ,
Keep your eyes on Jesus,
And the peace of God
will rule
in your heart.

As I sit here this morning with my coffee, I hear the rain on the roof and praise God who sends the rain, as the Word says, on the just and the unjust alike! How kind and good He is and so very patient with us as a forgetful and unthankful people!

It is a dull Vermont Autumn where the trees have merely a pinkish brown hue. Leaves are being knocked to the ground in these last few days of steady rain. Leaf peepers coming north to see vibrant foliage will certainly be disappointed this year.

I am reminded of one of the first years that Sue Thomas and I came to Vermont with excitement to build WaterBrooks. We expected to see those legendary colors that bring “leaf peepers” from all over the US. Day after day that year as we looked out across our mountain, the color was disappointingly dim. At the same time we began to feel that oppressive weight of a heavy spiritual darkness. We learned the hard way that behind the picturesque quaintness of the hills and villages of Vermont is a place that has forgotten God.

Yet every town and village has been built around a little church building, many with original bells to call the people to worship. Even if the village is only a dirt road with a handful of houses, there is always an old cemetery and an even older picture perfect steepled church that was once the hub and heart of the community.

Recent statistics show, though, that Vermont has become the state with the lowest church attendance in the entire US. Sadly it’s been that way for multiple generations and most young people have never set foot inside a church building.

One morning, while sitting on the cabin porch gazing at the hills across the pond, Sue spoke these words,

“Those brown lifeless hills are a reflection of the spiritual dryness of this area! We need to be praying that God would do a work of revival and bring life back into these mountains.”

That was the moment we both realized our calling from God. Prayer. Time spent in His Presence until we become filled with Him like a cup brimming to the top, so that when it gets bumped it can spill out only goodness and grace into the lives of neighbors and friends.

The Water of Life is desperately needed, but it must come bubbling from a full fountain, not dripping out of an empty heart.

“We are going to put a Cross on that little island,” Sue announced one day. “It will shine forth as a light in the dark place and it will be a reminder that we will stay and that our feet will not be moved.”

Genesis 1 says that emptiness and darkness covered the face of the Earth, but the Spirit moved across the waters.

And God said, ‘let there be light!’ And there was light.

He moves. He speaks. And it is.

As I hear the rain on the roof, I imagine the curled leaves of dry plants relaxing and receiving. The ground is rejoicing. The brook will soon begin to sing again.

What a perfect picture of these words of Jesus, “He who believes in Me… out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.”

We must be still

so that He can fill.

It’s our Labor Day volunteer weekend at WaterBrooks. Many of you have never been here… but through your prayers you CAN join us.

How amazingly powerful is that?!

There is a quiet, spiritual awakening happening in New England. God is on the move! But the battle is not easy, and, just like Aaron and Hur held up the arms of Moses, we need you to hold up our arms as we want to boldly serve Him in Vermont at WaterBrooks!

We need prayer to cover our coming volunteers, as well as for the family that came yesterday to spend a few quiet days being refreshed the Lord.

They have already ministered more to me than I ever could have to them!

Tonight at midnight I head to Burlington airport to pick up Brandi, who has been dubbed, “projects manager” by the volunteers. She has her finger on the pulse of the projects and knows how to ‘direct the traffic flow’ which is immensely helpful to me.

We are truly blessed that an anonymous donation came in to the ministry designated for her travel. That donation covered her roundtrip flight with $0.63 to spare! That simple act of obedience to the nudging of the Spirit is like a stepping stone of faith for those who see God’s provision! So thank you!

On Friday a few more out of state volunteers will be arriving. And on Saturday starting at 10 AM local friends will be arriving. Please pray for the weather, for the safety of the volunteers as they use power equipment, etc, for harmony and joy-filled hearts, and that God would be magnified and glorified in everything from the projects to the fellowship time!

We have several newcomers so please pray that they will sense the Presence of God and be renewed and encouraged.

These words from Psalm 62 are rich to me today.My

I wait quietly

Before God

For my victory

comes from Him.

Let all that I am

Wait quietly

before God…

For my hope,

my expectation,

is only in Him.

I expect great things from Him!

HE IS A GREAT GOD!