Last time I wrote that the phone kept ringing and ringing… but now it has become flooded with texts of pray-ers and well-wishers that have joined my battle with the Stage 4 lung cancer.
Sixty five days have passed since I received that terrible word of Cancer. It would change my life as I had known it and now I face the daily battle of simply living moment by moment, breath by breath.
I recently have learned a very important lesson during this short span of affliction. I can really feel miserable and I do mean miserable. If I give my mind over to what I am physically feeling, thoughts run rampant and everything spirals downhill including my breathing. I have learned that I feel alot better when I am working on ministry work instead of allowing my mind to wallow in how I feel.
I experienced it today as I wrote my prayer update for friends but I first felt it when I was at the hospital last Friday evening doing an outpatient CAT scan of my lungs.
I may have already shared that the Cat scan and Pet Scan are the most difficult tests for me as I cannot lay flat on my back due to my lung issue and I cannot extend my neck back due to my MS. Much prayer to get me in the right position for the duration of these tests!
For days I had been dreading this scheduled Cat scan and my mind was obsessed with fears. But the test went so quickly, and God gave me a huge blessing as we were leaving and passing through the atrium area under the steps. There lay the most exquisite and serene waterpool that had water bubbling over stones and across the gray slate and my mind went immediately to building WaterBrooks. I immediately thought,” We must have this in the main lodge lobby to greet the people.” It would reflect the theme, ‘As the deer pants for the waterbrooks, so my soul pants for you, O God’. Psalm 42
Instantly that one moment released in me the ability to dream again of the future and to continue to build WaterBrooks, a refuge where the silence is never broken and where prayer continues without ceasing! In that moment by the flowing water, I no longer thought about the cancer inside of me but had a renewed vision of what He has given me.
What I want to embrace from now on is this; to live an abundant life, set my mind upon the Lord in all ways and in all things!
May you also Choose Life, my friend, in all of your thoughts and it will surely be of help and surprise you when having miserable and discouraging days.
Another lesson from a day with cancer.